Managing Stress as an In-Home Childcare Provider
Ask any in-home childcare provider about their typical day, and you’ll likely hear about morning rushes, meal prep marathons, activity planning, parent communications, and the constant juggle of multiple children’s needs—all while maintaining a warm, nurturing environment. Between wiping noses and tying shoes, managing naptime schedules and keeping up with endless dishes, it’s easy to feel like you’re running on empty. We pour our hearts into caring for our little ones but sometimes forget to save some of that care for ourselves.
If you’ve ever felt your shoulders tense at the sound of another notification from a parent or found yourself lying awake at night planning tomorrow’s activities, this post is for you. Let’s talk honestly about stress management in home childcare with real, practical strategies that work in the beautiful chaos we call our in-home daycares.
Understanding Stress in Childcare Providers
Taking care of children is one of the most rewarding jobs, but it’s also one of the most demanding. As an in-home childcare provider, you juggle multiple responsibilities every day. From managing schedules to navigating the ups and downs of children’s emotions, it’s no surprise that stress can creep in. Recognizing what triggers your stress and understanding its effects is the first step in managing it. Let’s break it down.
Identifying Stress Triggers
Stress often sneaks up on you, but pinpointing its source can help you regain control. In childcare, some common stress triggers include:
- High Work Demands: Caring for kids is more than playtime. You’re feeding, cleaning, teaching, and constantly supervising.
- Lack of Breaks: You rarely get a moment to yourself, especially when kids need constant attention and supervision.
- Emotional Fatigue: Children rely on you for emotional support, and that level of empathy can become draining.
- Unpredictable Schedules: Sick days, late pickups, or last-minute changes can disrupt your routine.
- Feeling Undervalued: Sometimes, your hard work may go unnoticed or unappreciated, which can feel discouraging.
- Clients Trying to Call the Shots: We’ve all been there; someone didn’t fully read your policies or they’re disregarding them.
- Financial Strain: Not having a full childcare, trying to pay for everything needed to keep your day running, feeling bad about raising your rates, all these issues can cause financial strain.
Sound familiar? It’s okay to acknowledge these stressors. Identifying them helps you figure out what you can change and what you might need help with.
Big Deal or Little Deal
A number of years ago I was introduced to the big deal/little deal concept and have continued to use it not only with the littles in my care but also for myself.
Basically, when something happens that upsets you, ask yourself is this a big deal or a little deal.
The idea encourages children to assess problems by their actual impact and respond appropriately. For example, a “big deal” might be a serious injury or someone’s safety being at risk, while a “little deal” could be spilling a drink or losing a toy.
Using this strategy can help you to pause, name the issue, and decide if it’s something that requires immediate attention or a calm solution.
I once had a child who spilled their drink at least once a week. This can be so aggravating as a solo provider.
Here I am trying to feed 7 children and there goes the drink cup…again.
Rather than getting angry at these moments or the child, use them as a learning opportunity for them and yourself.
What needs to change to stop this from happening over and over again?
- remind the child where to set their cup so it doesn’t get knocked over
- try a different cup for smaller hands or something with a lid to slow the spill
- put less liquid in the cup and refill when empty
The solutions are so simple and by allowing ourselves that moment to reflect before reacting (big deal/little deal), we are creating a solution rather than constantly being upset or annoyed.
Make an action plan
Remember before when you identified your stressors? Now we need to figure out appropriate ways to navigate these situations that work for you.
I once had a child who wouldn’t eat anything except hot dogs and bologna. “I’m a pork guy” he would tell me.
That’s great but we’re not eating hot dogs and bologna every day.
He was such a picky eater and every day he would pick at his plate, eating a bite (maybe) of something here and there. I took note of what he would try but by the end I was throwing out full plates every day.
“They’ll eat when they’re hungry” so the saying goes…sure all the snacks later.
I was exhausted with the situation. I had to find something to do differently.
Pre covid we fed children family style, I decided it was time to adopt this again.
My trick with family style and getting littles to try things out is fun utensils. Tongs with hands, big shell-like pinchers for pasta, bright colored scoops. The only rule is if you take it, you have to try it.
It took a little time, but eventually he would grab the smallest bit of something new because of that cool scoop. Then he’d try it and realize it wasn’t so bad.
He’s since gone off to elementary school but family style is still going strong in my childcare.
Now is a great time to sit and think about those things that are bothering you and causing you stress.
What can you try.
Remember to give it some time and to give yourself grace.
Simple Self-Care Practices for Busy Childcare Providers
Remember that amazing person running the childcare? Yeah, that’s you. You need to remember to take care of this person!
Whether it’s sitting down for an extra 15 minutes at naptime or planning a day off, make sure you take care of yourself.
Reflecting on Your Day
Reflection doesn’t require a journal or hours of deep thought—it’s about checking in with yourself. Taking time to acknowledge what worked, what didn’t, and how you felt can create clarity.
Here’s a simple way to reflect daily:
- Ask Yourself Three Questions:
- What went well today?
- What was challenging?
- What can I focus on tomorrow to make it better?
- Celebrate Wins: Even if the win was simply staying patient during a tantrum, it counts. Recognizing successes builds confidence.
- Address Challenges: Did something throw you off? Mentally note it, then find small ways to make it easier next time.
Setting Boundaries
Saying “no” can feel hard, but it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and knowing your limits protects your energy. Consider these tips:
- Set Work Hours: Decide when your day starts and ends, and stick to it.
- Communicate Clearly: Let parents know what to expect so they respect your time and policies.
- Learn to Decline: It’s okay to say, “I cannot open early” or “I can’t allow rest time drop offs.”
Clear communication with parents can reduce misunderstandings and ease your stress. It’s okay to set limits on what works best in your home.
Be upfront about expectations from the beginning. Share your policies on late pickups, sick days, and other boundaries in a written agreement. Regular check-ins can address concerns early, before they become big issues.
Remember, you’re running a childcare business. Setting boundaries isn’t about being inflexible—it’s about protecting your time, energy, and the quality of care you provide.
Keep Things Simple!
As childcare providers, we often feel pressure to create Pinterest-worthy activities and elaborate learning experiences every single day. But here’s the truth: some of the most meaningful moments happen in the simplest ways.
Not every activity needs to be a major production. Learning happens naturally when a toddler practices zipping their coat or when preschoolers sort blocks by color.
A heart-shaped piece of paper and some crayons can spark creativity just as effectively as an intricate craft project that took hours to prepare.
Let go of the pressure to:
- Send home daily art projects
- Rotate toys on a strict schedule
- Plan every minute of every day
- Create elaborate themed activities
Some days, the best thing you can do is follow the children’s lead. Maybe they’re fascinated by a caterpillar in the garden or deeply engaged in pretend play with blocks. These child-led moments are golden opportunities for learning and development.
And yes, sometimes it’s perfectly okay to throw the structured plan out the window and go with the flow. Your value as a childcare provider isn’t measured by how many craft projects you complete or how elaborate your activities are.
If you are looking for some low-prep high fun activities for your littles all in one place, you can check out my little learners activity bundle. These activities will keep your kiddos engaged and free up time you may have spent searching and planning for your week.
Your Well-being Matters
When you protect your time, space, and energy, you’re not being selfish; you’re ensuring you can show up as your best self for the children in your care.
Take time each day to reflect on what’s working and what isn’t. Celebrate your victories, learn from your challenges, and remember that you’re not just running a childcare—you’re creating a nurturing space where both you and your little ones can thrive.
Most importantly, give yourself grace. You’re doing important work, and it’s okay if some days don’t go as planned. Your well-being is the foundation of quality childcare. When you take care of yourself, everyone benefits—you, the children, and the families you serve. Keep growing, keep learning, and keep prioritizing what matters most.
